THE RULES

- It takes two hands to put on a hat the right way: Back brim curled up, front tugged down to a couple of inches above the right brow.
- Never wear brown at night. Never.
- There`s no excuse for brown shoes past sundown.... Or white shoes. Or anything gray, unless it`s deep charcoal. Or blue, unless it`s midnight blue. In fact, let`s keep it simple: after dark, men should wear black.
- Ties should be silk. And conservative.
- Cuff links always. But leave the fancy jewelry to Sammy.
- When dressing formally, a vest is better than a cummerbund.
- Don`t wear a tuxedo on Sunday.
- Having messy closets is like putting on clean clothes over dirty underwear.
- The shower is a great place to steam out the wrinkles in your dinner jacket.
- Orange is the happiest color.
- Don`t hide your scars. They make you who you are.
- When it comes to pockets, everything should have its own place.
- A pocket handkerchief is essential, but it needs to be perfectly folded.
- Shine your shoes.
- Trim. Buff. Clean.
- Take your hand off the suit, creep.

[Adapted from The Way You Wear Your Hat, by Bill Zehme]